Last Wednesday felt like any other Valentine’s Day for me — I went into work, awkwardly said Happy Valentine’s Day to a bunch of coworkers because apparently that’s normal, looked at other people’s flowers on Instagram since snap stories are now a thing of the past, went home and sat in my room alone. Ya know, vintage romantic type stuff.
But to my surprise, as I was scrolling through my Instagram feed in my unisex night gown, I saw something rather troubling. No, it wasn’t RGIII’s post / caption that made no sense that shook me to my core, but a comment he made in reply to a fan!
What the hell is this?? RGIII clapping back at my guy brown_nation_ so hard he may re-injure his wrist! On a day that’s supposed to be about love and care, RGIII is out here bullying we lowly Browns fans off of social media. Sad!
Now to be fair, @brown_nation_, you could’ve just unfollowed him and internalized that thought. Really could’ve avoided this heat being brought on you by just keeping that question to yourself. As for me, I still follow RGIII because I know one day he’s gonna slip and throw a nude up on his feed that he meant to send to his “Estonian Beauty.” When/if that day comes, it is my DUTY as an unpaid Browns blogger to let everyone know if he has a sweet dick or not.
Anyway, I digress. While I agree that brown_nation_ for sure had that coming by being a loser in the first place and commenting on a celebrity’s post, let’s chill out for a second RGIII. Yes, you are technically correct and responsible for the franchise’s last win, but you’re also responsible for 4 of these 31 losses and threw 2 TD’s in five games as a starter. Your incompetence also lead us to the Kizer era, so by the transitive property you’re responsible for all of last year’s losses too.
So why don’t you slow your roll a bit, huh guy? I would say people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but if you’re the one throwing said stones there’s no shot any house is getting hit. Also, you should totally put your dick on the internet.
PS – Can somebody explain to me the emoji usage from @baylor.updates? I get the bear, but what’s the fire and ice emoji? Is that a Game of Thrones Reference? I don’t get it.