Josh Rosen Goes on Record Saying He’d Rather Play for the Giants than the Browns. In Related News, the Sun Will Set in the West this Evening.

I couldn’t be happier that this news came out. It’s a better stocking stuffer than I could’ve ever gotten myself. Josh Rosen came out this morning and said he’d rather play for the Giants than the Browns.

Uhhh no shit dude, nobody wants to play for us. But by coming out and saying that, Rosen has affirmed everything I’ve been saying about this kid all year. He’s S-A-W-F-T sawwwwft. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Had everything handed to him. He’s the kind of guy who loses a game at UCLA, then makes his way over to Beverly Hills Gold Club to sneak in a quick nine with his embroidered golf bag.

The opportunity to play in Cleveland is unique. You have the chance to be the savior of one of football’s oldest and traditional franchises. You can be the Phoenix that lifts this team from the ashes in which it currently resides. Hell, if you go 10-6 in Cleveland you probably will never have to pay for a drink again in your life.

To come out and say you don’t want to play in Cleveland means you have no drive. You have no grit. You have no heart, no backbone. You’re not ready to step up to the biggest challenge in professional sports and grind your way to greatness. Rosen would rather play with OBJ over Josh Gordon? Play in the Big Apple over the Mistake by the Lake? That’s fine with me. Go ahead and take him. We all already know who will pull this team out of the dumpster.Baker-Mayfield-crotch-grab-832x447

So while baby boy Josh goes to to sleep tonight with dreams of Cleveland heartache and dread, visions of Mayfield lifting the Lombardi Trophy will dance through my head.


A Word on Baker Mayfield’s Punishment

I don’t know when this happened, I don’t know how this happened, but I am COMPLETELY head over heels for Baker Mayfield. He’s got the body and arm of a Drew Brees or Russel Wilson, the bust potential of a Colt McCoy, and the attitude of that one guy at the party who takes beer pong way too seriously.

Apparently, however, some folks are not as fond of Baker Mayfield as I. It was announced earlier this week that after his actions against Kansas, and by actions of course I mean grabbing his crotch and yelling “FUCK YOU” at their bench, that Oklahoma would not start Mayfield on Senior Day against West Virginia and rescind his captainship. Mayfield formally apologized in a press conference, seen below.

Let me tell you something. How DARE the University of Oklahoma pull this shit. Not only has this kid brought in millions upon million of dollars in revenue to this university and program, but he embodies everything a good captain should. Earlier this year on the Dan Patrick Show when Dan asked Mayfield if he plays with a chip on his shoulder, he said he, “plays with a boulder on his shoulder”(which rhymes, but was not brought up at the time and I’m sure was unintentional). He wears his heart on his sleeve and inspires his teammates to get up and go kick the teeth in of every opponent on their schedule. He’s the best player in college football this year and EASILY the most reputable, and yet you’re going to punish him for being the guy on the field who’s not gonna sit back and take shit from another team? FUCK. THAT.

This right here is the reason future generations are doomed. Everyone is so worried about needing players to be role models and acting within their realm of what’s deemed appropriate, that we now discourage a leader for doing what he does best – lead. So while the rest of the world is backing the Russel Wilsons and Peyton Mannings of the league, hiding behind their canned responses and played out catchphrases, I’ll be flipping and ripping birds with Baker Mayfield as we step over those too spineless to stand. 

PS – Baker’s gonna look so good in a Cleveland Browns uniform.

baker brown
*swoon* (yes, I’m still learning photoshop)