I Hate Christian Yelich

Most of my sports hatred is fleeting.

When Rajon Rondo threw Krik Hinrich into the scorer’s table in the 2009 NBA playoffs, I thought I hated him

But it didn’t last that long. The series ended, I remembered I’m only a bulls fan while they’re in the playoffs and I moved on.

I thought I hated Chara during the 2013 Stanley Cup, but now I can type 17 seconds into Youtube whenever I want and I can’t really hold the grudge with him anymore.

2016 NLDS. Derek Law’s STUPID GRIN made me scream at my TV, and I really, really thought I would hate him forever, but again once the Cubs won game 4 with 4 runs in the top of the 9th I mostly forgot about him:

Image result for Derek Law 2016 NLDS smile
Although tbh looking at this picture is bringing up some old memories

There have really always been 3 names that I’ll hate 7 days a week. From most to least:

Molina > Rodgers > Braun

Every time I hear a Cardinals fan say how well Molina calls a game, every time Rodgers gets lucky with a hail Mary, every time Braun winces while a needle goes into him to deliver those sweet, sweet steroids he loves so much, I feel something palpable.

Which brings us to the antagonist of this post – Christian Yelich. He’s been flirting being the fourth name on this list for a while now. He’s got all the characteristics of someone I would hate – he’s great but his fans think he’s better than he is; he’s arrogant, but not in an appealing way like Lester or threejay03; he has a certain je ne sais quoi that makes me clench my teeth when I see him (his face).

Last night put him over the edge. Yu Darvish tweeted this:

All poor Yu Darvish is trying to do is confirm that he stepped off the mound because Yelich’s eyes move. He even says “I’m not sure what he is trying to do.” He just isn’t accusing the Brewer’s of sign stealing. He’s just adding context to Spencer Michaelis’s tweet. Did he need to tweet this? Probably not, but this was not a malicious tweet. I’d argue that any response to this should be considered unprovoked!

To be honest I like having this rivalry with a team that has never won a National League pennant and hasn’t been to the World Series since 1982 (wow that’s fun to do), so I can’t really knock Yelich for taking shots a the Cubs. You gotta punch up, I get that, but leave Yu out of this. It makes me sad thinking about Yu reading this tweet. An emoji has never held this much weight over me.

You didn’t say that Yu, but I’m pretty sure everyone knew that’s what you meant. His timeline right now is heartbreaking, and because of that, I’m updating my rankings:

Molina (always) > Rodgers > Yelich > Braun

We obviously don’t know pitching yet, but fingers crossed we get to see Yu in our season opening series in Milwaukee. I’ll be over here hating Yelich all winter.

Let’s Talk About “Focus(ing) on one game at a time.”

Sorry this post took me so long to get up, I just finished icing my thumb which got super bruised after how quickly I clicked on threejay03s most recent post about the Browns coach’s proclivity for termination after playing the Steelers.

95% of it I loved. It had everything – real sports analysis, a Trey Wingo tweet, the word “downtrodden” – really everything you could hope for in a threejay03 blog. I laughed, I cried, I thought about how I was going to lie about laughing and crying when I wrote my rebuttal blog that no one asked for. Just really Grade A stuff from the second best blogger here.

One sentence really stood out to me.

“If they focus on one game at a time and win these next three weeks, they will sit at 6-6 with 2 games against Cincinnati, at Arizona, and vs Baltimore to end the year.”

Let’s go to the tape:

  • “If they focus on one game at a time

Great, great, great start. Phenomenal way to approach a 3-6 season. Winning 7 games straight sounds so hard to do, some would even say impossible. Going 1-0 week 11 however? Half the teams playing are gonna do that! Why not us? Great start TJ. I really think the Browns could do that.

  • And win these next three weeks

Woah woah woah woah woah. What happened to taking this one week at a time? We never even talked about two weeks at a time! In one independent clause we jumped from one week at a time to three weeks at at time. Really feels like we’re no longer taking it one week at a time.

  • They will sit at 6-6

Ok you may have won me back here. We’re just talking about getting to .500. Easy, digestible goal.

  • with 2 games against Cincinnati, at Arizona, and vs Baltimore to end the year.

Here’s the thing @threejay03, I get what you’re trying to do. We’re looking at the remaining season and seeing what really is 5 winnable games. You take both games against Mason Rudolph and you might end up with a winning season. That’s fine. But say that. Don’t tell me we’re taking this one week at a time then look at literally every single other game this season.

If you want me to come back to blogging on this site I need honesty from you. If you say we’re taking this one week at a time, let’s take this one week at a time.

Now if you need me I’ll be thinking about sunny Los Angeles on a Sunday night and literally nothing else. Not thinking about the Packers, not thinking about the Vikings, not thinking about NYG, @DET, DAL, @GB, KC, or @MIN. Not thinking about those at all. Just week 11. When I say one week at a time I mean it. Stand for something.



NLCS Game 1: Some Dude Vs. Jose Quintana

So as of 11:00 AM Central Time, it looks like we’re going with Jose Quintana to start game one of the NLCS. I’m conflicted. I’m sure some of the takes are “Lackey is a battle tested post season pitcher who knows how to win the big game,” but to be honest, that’s not at all where my minds at. This is where my mind’s at:

John Lackey.png
“I said dressing on the side!”

For a lack of a better word, dude kinda sucks. Not at baseball obviously, but he’s just kind of a dick. That’s the guy I want taking the mound for me in 8 short hours. The 15 year vet with three rings who is being told he’s not good enough to start a game in the postseason. I can 100% imagine John in his hotel room staring at himself in the mirror quietly saying “oh I’m not starting this post season Joe? Is that right?” while slowing thumbing the sharp blade of a steel knife, not because he’d ever do anything with it, but just because he wants to know what the pain would feel like as he finally opened himself up to the world where he can literally drink the blood of his doubters. To be honest I haven’t looked at match-ups at all (clearly, that’s not what we do here), there’s a good chance Q makes way more sense. Hell, there’s a good chance Q pitches far, far better than Lackey. But if you want to galvanize a team right now, a team that has needed two starters twice so far this post season, I want to see Crazy Joe Davola staring down Chris Taylor when the Dodgers come up to bat in the bottom of the first.

Either way, in Joe we trust (unless Happ continues to ride the bench while Jason Heyward to record 5 outs in 4 at bats). We’re not in our 3rd straight NLCS after making 3 in 50 years for nothing. Cubs in 7.


P.S. Clayton Kershaw? More like, Clayton “we’re worse off” when he pitches in a postseason game