I Hate Christian Yelich

Most of my sports hatred is fleeting.

When Rajon Rondo threw Krik Hinrich into the scorer’s table in the 2009 NBA playoffs, I thought I hated him

But it didn’t last that long. The series ended, I remembered I’m only a bulls fan while they’re in the playoffs and I moved on.

I thought I hated Chara during the 2013 Stanley Cup, but now I can type 17 seconds into Youtube whenever I want and I can’t really hold the grudge with him anymore.

2016 NLDS. Derek Law’s STUPID GRIN made me scream at my TV, and I really, really thought I would hate him forever, but again once the Cubs won game 4 with 4 runs in the top of the 9th I mostly forgot about him:

Image result for Derek Law 2016 NLDS smile
Although tbh looking at this picture is bringing up some old memories

There have really always been 3 names that I’ll hate 7 days a week. From most to least:

Molina > Rodgers > Braun

Every time I hear a Cardinals fan say how well Molina calls a game, every time Rodgers gets lucky with a hail Mary, every time Braun winces while a needle goes into him to deliver those sweet, sweet steroids he loves so much, I feel something palpable.

Which brings us to the antagonist of this post – Christian Yelich. He’s been flirting being the fourth name on this list for a while now. He’s got all the characteristics of someone I would hate – he’s great but his fans think he’s better than he is; he’s arrogant, but not in an appealing way like Lester or threejay03; he has a certain je ne sais quoi that makes me clench my teeth when I see him (his face).

Last night put him over the edge. Yu Darvish tweeted this:

All poor Yu Darvish is trying to do is confirm that he stepped off the mound because Yelich’s eyes move. He even says “I’m not sure what he is trying to do.” He just isn’t accusing the Brewer’s of sign stealing. He’s just adding context to Spencer Michaelis’s tweet. Did he need to tweet this? Probably not, but this was not a malicious tweet. I’d argue that any response to this should be considered unprovoked!

To be honest I like having this rivalry with a team that has never won a National League pennant and hasn’t been to the World Series since 1982 (wow that’s fun to do), so I can’t really knock Yelich for taking shots a the Cubs. You gotta punch up, I get that, but leave Yu out of this. It makes me sad thinking about Yu reading this tweet. An emoji has never held this much weight over me.

You didn’t say that Yu, but I’m pretty sure everyone knew that’s what you meant. His timeline right now is heartbreaking, and because of that, I’m updating my rankings:

Molina (always) > Rodgers > Yelich > Braun

We obviously don’t know pitching yet, but fingers crossed we get to see Yu in our season opening series in Milwaukee. I’ll be over here hating Yelich all winter.

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