Local Man Gives Dollar to Homeless Person; Internally Justifies Self for Being Piece of Shit for the Entire Year

BALTIMORE, MD – Walking down Light Street to purchase some pajamas from Marshall’s as a last-minute Christmas gift for his wife, area man Dave Andersen heard a raspy plea from the ground.

“Any change sir? I’m just trying to catch the bus.”

Having grown up and now living in the suburbs outside of the city limits, Dave knew the bus didn’t stop anywhere near here. Nevertheless, after a brief moment of assuming his money would be used for more dastardly purposes, Andersen reached into his wallet and pulled out a dollar bill.

“Merry Christmas,” Andersen said with a smile, as he reached out his crumpled George Washington that he previously tried to use on the vending machine in the breakroom at work to no avail.

“God bless you sir,” replied the homeless man graciously, who now hobbled his way to a new location down the street.

Andersen smiled proudly, and made sure to take note of any bystanders who may have noticed his act of generosity. It had been a long year for him, filled with stress from both his home and his work.

“With the kids starting school, and that one night at that conference in Memphis I still haven’t told my wife about, this year has kind of been weighing on me,” Andersen informed us, as he tossed the new pajamas into the trunk of his Kia Optima. “It’s days like these that remind me that it could always be worse, and to focus on the positives in my life.”

When asked if days like today inspired him to open up to his wife, Andersen did not comment, but was sure to wish us a Merry Christmas.

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